Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Well hello there!

  I am so out of the blogging loop and completely out of practice obviously.  It has been years since I have blogged and to be honest there are things I have missed about it and things that I didn't miss at all.  So the reason for my blog post after years of not blogging.  I am at a loss.  I honestly don't know where I have gone wrong.  I feel like I have the absolute naughtiest children on the face of the planet.  I am going to be real honest with you here.  Like, admit out loud things that I try not to even admit to myself in my innermost darkest places of my mind, honest.  We are done having kids.  That is not the part I was talking about, that part is no secret.  Here it goes: We are done having kids because I can't handle them (gasp!).  I honestly have such a hard time with the kids that I have there is no way I would ever consider having another one.  I am obviously doing something wrong as a mother and I don't want to subject another human being to my bad parenting.  I have 3 of Heavenly Father's sweet little innocent souls to try to shape and mold into somewhat normal, healthy, functioning humans in society and I am afraid I am doing it all wrong.  It is my job to love, nurture, and teach these tiny humans to be good, loving, nurturing people themselves.  I am not sure where I dropped the ball.  I have honestly been doing my best.  I love them fiercely and would do anything for them, they are my whole reason and purpose in life!  All I ever wanted to do in life was to be a Mom.  After high school I had zero desire to have any schooling, or career, or anything.  I just wanted to have babies and be a Mom.  A good Mom.  I never thought it would be this hard.  I don't really think it is this hard on everyone, but I feel like I screwed up somewhere and now I have to correct whatever parenting mistake I have made that has turned my two older kids into little monsters.  I need help. This is where I beg you for any suggestions, thoughts, or strategies that you have used that seem to help correct naughty behavior.  We have literally tried everything.  Timeouts, taking away toys, taking away privileges, and on, and on. I just started reading the Love and Logic books, and those suggestions don't really seem to be helping either.  Do I need to go to some seminars, or parenting classes??  I just don't really know what to do at this point.

  Whew!  Glad I got that off of my chest!  Now is where you leave me your comments about some fabulous secret that you have that will change my life and the lives of my sweet little innocent children.  They really are innocent in this.  I know that they are little and they don't know what they are doing. They don't know that their constant whining, crying, fighting, yelling, screaming, and other naughty behaviors are slowly but surely driving their mom completely insane.  I have to wonder though, if they know how bad it hurts when they turn their attacks on me.  I have heard far too many times the words, "I hate you." and "I wish I had a different mom."  among other things, coming from those little mouths.  There has to be some serious hostility built up in those little minds to say such hurtful things. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings.  I really hope this is just a phase and we can get it worked out soon.  Otherwise I will be blogging from the loony bin.  I will let you know when visiting hours are if you want to stop by!  ;)
   

4 leave your thoughts here:

katie said...

First of all you are not a bad mom! I never wanted a career either all I wanted was to be a mom as well. It is one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs! The one thing that has helped me out the most is consistentcy. If they know what to expect, then they seem to behave better. Sometimes the only thing that you can do is put them in their room kicking and screeming till they calm down (and you too:) and then you can talk with them about the problem calmly... Really being consistent is one of the best things to do. It can be hard at times, but its worth it! Hang in there! Your doing great even if it doesn't feel like it! One more thing...pray often! The Lord will help you to know how and what to do. It has helped me when I think I might go crazy :) love ya!

Josh and Juli said...

I don't think you are a bad mom, either, but I can completely relate to everything you wrote on there! I always wanted to be a mom more than anything, and I thought I'd be pretty good at it. I didn't think I'd lose my temper as often as I do, or just need mom breaks as often as I do. And I worry every day that I'm not doing things right with the children that I have. I used to want to have a lot of children...and I don't have the patience or stamina for many of them, either. I agree with Katie on consistency, and it is one of my biggest battles. I know how important it is, and yet it's annoying to follow through at inconvenient times and in inconvenient places. I do think those love and logic seminars might be helpful - we've considered going to them before but couldn't because of the times offered and the expense was hard to swallow. But I have heard they are helpful and I do want to try one sometime. Don't beat yourself up, though - your kids will recover from their hard phases, and you'll be blessed for loving them through it. It's not easy. It's certainly not easy for me. I'll have to check back and see what great advice other people have to offer here because I need it too!

Shannon Baker said...

It sounds like an interesting series. I will check it out

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Anonymous said...

Their is a book called the Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle. I highly recommended it.