Wednesday, April 13, 2011

~Baby #3~

No, this is not an announcement, but not that I got your attention I need your input.


How do you know how far to space your children apart? This has been a topic of discussion at our house for a while now and Brandon and I have a difference of opinion on the matter. How do we find a compromise where we are both happy?


He wants the next baby to be 2 years and 4 months after Graham because that is the space between Valerie and Graham. I think for the two of them that is perfect spacing, but I would like to give myself a little more space between Graham and baby #3. 3 years to be exact. Last night Brandon said to me "It seems like all of your reasons for wanting to wait are for you, you are just thinking of yourself." Is that so wrong?? If Mommy loses her mind and cant function because she is a crazy person will anyone in the house actually be happy?? Is it selfish of me to want a little more of a break in between kids? Going from 2 to 3 scares me a lot! It just seems like it would be so hard to have 3 kids. I am a wimp and have a hard time leaving the house with 2 kids, if there are multiple stops to be made I usually wait to do my running around when Brandon is home and can watch the kids. I can't imagine going places with 3 kiddos!


And, if we are being honest, I am worried about my body. I get so big when I am pregnant, and for some reason I allow myself to gain more weight than I should. I have been working my butt off...literally...and I am not looking forward to getting pregnant again and gaining a bunch of weight and being overweight for another year after the baby is born. Maybe with how health conscious I am now things will be a little different, but I don't see myself getting back down to the size I am now very quickly after I have another baby.


So help me out a little! How far is the spacing between your kids? Do you feel like the spacing between them is good, or would you have more or less space in between? Do you have 3 kids?? If so, how do you function!?! Is it as hard as I think it will be? Should I just have them all really close together and get it over with in a short amount of time?? What are your thoughts?


By the way, if we went with Brandon's plan of 2 years and 4 months that would put me getting pregnant in September...talk about soon!!

11 leave your thoughts here:

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

Obviously you know how far apart my children are.

I just recently wrote a post about this, and got some interesting comments on it...you should go read those.

Everyone does what works best for them. I have horrible pregnancies, I have hard babies, I can't imagine being pregnant right now. I would go crazy so it is not in our plans. I might even be done with two...so I am probably the wrong person to ask advice. ;)

Josh & Amber said...

How about 1 minute. I can understand exactly what you are talking about. Pregnancy was easy for me but the thought of having three kids right now is a bit nerve racking. I think that it does have to be a mutual decision but if you aren't ready then wait. You will be a better mom for it in the long run! (Josh wanted to start trying in May, yeah right, now we've pushed it back because it's a scary thought). Good luck!

Heather English said...

well, from a psychological point of view a child isn't ready to not be the baby until about 3 years of age. Obviously i did not follow this recommendation, so hard to say my opinion on that one. I think the best advice is always to pray about it and when it feels like the right thing to BOTH of you, then is the time to start to try. It does seem like its on your mind a lot lately, so maybe that's your answer...:)

Kara said...

You know my story...I LOVE the spacing between Elena and Chanel. It's been so nice having an older child to be able to help out a little bit and she's better about behaving herself in public so that I only have one baby to worry about:) On the other hand, maybe a little less of a gap would've been good so they could be better playing buddies...who knows. But for us, the spacing saved me! I'm sure there will be about 3 years between Chanel and our next baby, 'cause that's what works for us:) But if you want 3 years and Brandon want 2 and 4months, maybe you should find somewhere in between that you both could compromise on:) Good luck!

Melissa said...

When we were planning for our 3rd child (that never came) my husband and I disagreed on when to start trying. (Like your situation - we wanted one faster than I did) We compromised in the middle. IF we do ever get the blessing of more children, I will try to have a fourth one VERY soon after the third. I won't worry at all about spacing. Perhaps praying about it is a good idea too. God knows what you can and can't handle. :)

Josh and Juli said...

I agree with Melissa - neither of you can argue with an answer to a prayer, right? Our first two are 21 months apart and it was easier than I thought because our second baby was so much easier than expected. But for the distance between the 2nd and 3rd, they're 2 and a half years apart and so far it's working out pretty well. I like that my 2-year-old will still take a nap (actually so does my 4-year-old at the moment). But even when she doesn't, she can have quiet time while the other two nap and that is very helpful when you're exhausted with a newborn. As for going places with 3, it's harder than 2 but I think once my baby's not a newborn anymore and I don't have to worry about her screaming in her carseat if we're gone at the wrong time, it will be easier. But I refuse to go grocery shopping by myself with all 3 at this point in my life. Good luck with your decision!

Angela and Curtis said...

I am SO happy that Curtis and I have always agreed to have our babies two to two and a half years apart.
Tell him if you get pregnant in September, our babies will be really close again. It doesn't bother me, but maybe it will help your case. :)

Talitha and fam said...

I think it's just fine if you need more time...you are the mother for crying out loud!!!

jennifer a said...

Ben and I had always planned on having our kids 3 years apart...but I have a hard time getting and staying pregnant so we also knew that we would be happy whenever we were blessed to have them. I had been told that I would never be able to have kids so having two is incredible to me. That being said, my kids are only 19 months apart and it is hard. Now that Broox is getting older, it's definitely getting easier, but having two babies at completely different stages is really hard. But with Taelie being so young, we never dealt with jealousy issues either.

It is such a personal decision. I think youll both know when the time is right. Good luck!

Tolbert Family Blog said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having 3 kids. I think you just need to follow your heart Ali. I don't think you're ever really ready for the 3rd, but whenever they do get here you adjust your life to make it all work out. Good luck, and I better be the first person you tell...Even before you tell Brandon. He won't mind. ;)

Heidi said...

You should talk to Marci...she has 3 and different spaces and she thinks 3 is easy-peasy...